Friends with benefits relationships have become common today, especially in a time when commitment relationships fail regularly. The ideal friends with benefits relationship lets you have fun and enjoy your freedom. Unlike commitment relationships, these kinds of relationships are flexible and convenient for those willing to participate. However, the fact that friends have the freedom and better experiences than the other types of relationships doesn’t mean that there are no rules and regulations to guide friends with benefits. Rules are there and they determine the success of your relationship. In this case, the rules are the things you ought to do before asking someone to become your friend with benefits. Therefore, the following are the six key considerations or rules that you should follow when making plans to request your friend for this type of relationship.
Make sure you are only interested with sex
Unlike other relationships characterized by romance and commitments, when joining the FWB type of relationships, you must recognize you are there for fun only. If you are attracted to your friend and might have feelings for him or her, then this is not the kind of relationship for you. However, if not interested in a committed relationship, then you would be making the right choice.
Communicate with your friend
Not everyone might have the same interests as you. A gesture might be wrongly interpreted and your friend assumes that you are interested in a long-term engagement. Failure to communicate might be costly and heartbreaking to either of the friends, especially the one left in the dark. Therefore, a common similarity in all types of relationships, communication is key to establishing reliable friends with benefits type of relationships.
Consider the results
If your friend doesn’t have the same interests as you, there is a high likelihood that your intentions might be wrongly interpreted. If you know your friend does not support this kind of relationship, then such a request would be jeopardizing your friendship. Moreover, if your friend is the judgmental type, then you would be at risk of being interpreted wrongly. Always think about the possible outcomes of your suggestion.
Don’t go straight to the point
One of the challenging things that many people experience with their friends is expressing their intentions to become friends with benefits. You are probably wondering about the best way to do it. Should you go straight to the point and drop the bomb on your friend? Should you take time and use a more strategic way? If your choice is the second one, then you are right. Considering the risks of frustration and wrongful interpretations by your target partner, moving strategically is recommended. Suggested approaches include taking a long walk discussing different topics or taking a cup of coffee together and introducing the topic of FWBs. In such a case, you can see your friend’s reactions and determine if you are on the right path. Consequently, never think of bumping into your friend and randomly request to start such a relationship. It is more likely to be disappointing when you use the wrong approach.
Know the rules of friends with benefits
Most people who have had failed friends with benefits relationships did not know the rules. Some of the common rules of FWBs are no strings attached, establish some rules, use protection, never have feelings and be sincere about your intentions, among others. When you are sure of the common rules of friends with benefits, it becomes hard to be surprised when the relationship has already started and something unexpected happens. With the rules clear in mind, you can easily make the decision to get in the relationship or opt out.
Know and understand your emotions
A common risk evident in friends with benefits is the risk of developing feelings for each. Realistically, one or both of you can develop feelings for the other, which is against the rules and interests of the relationships. If you are the jealous and easily attached person, then this would not be the right relationship for you. You are at risk of getting hurt, especially when your partner fails to reciprocate the same feelings you are developing. Therefore, when you understand your emotions, then it becomes much easier to make the decision of establishing a friend with benefits type of relationship or avoiding one.