Having a friend with benefits comes with plenty of, well, benefits. But how do you go about moving a friendship to a relationship with no strings attached and no desire to become something more?
It’s not exactly a subject you have in a normal conversation, especially if it’s someone you already know. You don’t want to make it awkward, but at the same time, not asking means not getting what you need.
Here’s how to do it the right way (yes, it’s possible):
Decide What You Need in a FWB
Before you start your search, think about what you want from a friend with benefits. Ideally, it’s someone you’d never fall in love with since you want to keep things sexy casual. Make sure he’s got a deal-breaker so you don’t become attached.
Also, it’s a good idea to avoid someone you used to have feelings for, even if you think those feelings are long gone (ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, former crushes, etc). Otherwise, you risk letting emotions get in the way and your NSA relationship starts growing more strings than you can count.
Be Specific about What You Want
Have you thought about why you want a FWB situation over a real relationship? It’s not just about sex.
FWB gives you the freedom to “do you” without hesitation, while also providing someone to “do you” when you’re feeling frisky. Make sure you maintain self-awareness of the experience and know why you chose this path.
Choose Your Level of Discretion
There are two types of people you could hook up: someone you know or someone you don’t. If it’s someone you know, that person should be someone you trust. You want to feel confident about your encounters and that the other person can remain discreet (if you want them to). If it’s someone you don’t know, it’s easier to keep your secrets.
Coming right out and asking for casual sex has its shock value, even for a guy who does most of his thinking with his southmost head. When you finally grow the balls to ask, don’t spend time beating around the bush or overdosing on the compliments. You’re not trying to woo him, you just want to bed him, plain and simple. Be direct, and if he says no, move to the next option.
Give Him a Good Reason
Your directness should also include a reason to pursue a friends with benefits opportunity. Be prepared for him to ask why you want this and why you picked him, then be ready to answer honestly.
Know What They’re Down With
You can’t choose an FWB that isn’t going to be down for your bedroom style. After all, you’re reaching out because you need to please yourself. If you’re into BDSM or Kama Sutra but your partner isn’t, you’re not going to get much from the experience.
Set Some Ground Rules
Your place or his? Safe word or no safe word? Random times or certain days of the week?
You and your “friend” should coordinate some ground rules that suit you both. This way, there are no surprises that could later derail the symbiosis and you can both walk away satisfied.
What Happens If You Decide to Part Ways?
If you ever decide to end the FWB situation, what should happen next?
This is a step many people overlook, but it’s just as important as the encounter itself. They spend more time thinking about how to get the hookup they don’t think about the awkwardness that follows. If it’s someone you know, talk about whether you want to continue being friends or part ways for good. If it’s someone you don’t know, ask about the probability of keeping the door open for future hookups.
Find Friends with Benefits Online
If you’re nervous about popping the question, save face and find your hookup online with Fwbdr, FWB and discreet casual hookup app for singles and couples. The app takes the pressure off asking face to face, plus there’s no guesswork in wondering if the other person is DTF. You match yourself with only those you’re interested in hooking up with, and if they feel the same way, you’re one step closer to a rewarding FWB scenario.
Check it out today and discover a new world of intimate possibilities!